Too Many Masters


If not for its ball-punching and pointless difficulty*, X-Com Terror From The Deep could have been my favorite game of all time. And that explains why Star Wars sucks now. And shows that loving and worshiping are on a spectrum, but also binary and exclusive. Let me start over.

*If you beat this game, you didn’t play well. You spent weeks and months quicksaving and quickloading the same play over, over, and over again until 1000 1/100 chances all come out 1. Imagine if to read As You Like It, you had to have your balls electrocuted every five minutes. Imagine if you paid good money to have some master carve an ice sculpture, then have them put a tarp over it so you and everyone else can’t see it, then smash it with a hammer, under the tarp. It’s not that TFTD was great art, but so you know what I mean when I say “bad design.” Or “pointless.” I mean aggressively so. I mean an insult.