But there’s sadness in Ohio….

(20:02:22) Moorekock4VP: good luck. I love you. Go state.
(20:02:22) Auto response from ditriech: Our Honor Defend, we will fight to the end, for O-HI-O!

(20:02:44) ditriech: I love you too. Thank you
(20:22:21) ditriech: I love how they always make football equivalent to war.
(20:22:49) YoungerSpyKnots: Right.
(20:22:57) YoungerSpyKnots: And that they always use the Requiem for a Dream music.
(20:23:06) ditriech: yup
I would like to first state, for the record, that I am a huge, huge Ohio State fan. I would also like to state, for the record, that the purpose of me starting this blog on January 8th was to gloat the next day, in a College Football column entitled “Woody is my Homeboy.” In fact, I was so sure of this that I already set up the category and everything. I was so excited.

Alas, it was not to be. The game started off well enough. First, they showed the dual Script Ohios. Which always brings chills down my spine. Literally every time that I see the dotting of the “I” it makes me happy. Beyond any normal rational human belief.

Wait a minute. Let me backtrack for a moment. We should have seen this coming. There were enough clues leading up to the game and within the first couple of minutes that should have tipped us off. First, the scary, scary parallels between the 2002 national championship and the 2006 national championship. You know, the whole “underdog can’t win” thing. I mean, if there are Floridians that made a montage to “One Mic” and renamed it “One Shot” I wouldn’t have been surprised. But, actually, the biggest two tells came during the game. The first happened during the coin toss.

(20:31:35) ditriech: McCain just gained so much cred
(20:31:42) YoungerSpyKnots: Well, I’m not fucking voting for McCain.
(20:31:51) ditriech:
(20:32:07) ditriech: ok, so Florida just won? because of a republican?
(20:32:12) ditriech: where have I heard that before?
(20:32:15) YoungerSpyKnots: Mmm-hmm.

You see that people? That right there would be the beginnings of a conspiracy theory. However, there’s more. Do you know what conference the referees represented? The Pacific 10 Conference.

(20:37:56) ditriech: THAT’S BULLSHIT!
(20:38:01) ditriech: THE PAC-10 HATES US!
(20:38:07) ditriech: im calling shenanigans
(20:38:26) YoungerSpyKnots: …Big East is the only truly impartial set here.
(20:38:36) ditriech: yup

Exactly. The Pac-10 has been the bitter, bitter rivals of the Big-10 (11) since 1947 when the annual Rose Bowl games started. So you know that they had it in for us since the onset of the game.

Ok. Enough excuses. Florida played a great game. Fucking awesome. There is really nothing more that I can say about it. Tebow didn’t really impress me much. But that also may be due to the fact that he really didn’t have to. He basically played as McFadden for the entire time he was in the game.

Leak played probably the best game of his entire life. I honestly don’t know. Having spent all of my life in Ohio (except for about 14-16 days of my life, 4 of which were during college football season and that was bowl season) I’m not completely sure of this. But from what I hear from Gator fans, Leak really wasn’t all that favored through his whole career. Though, in his defense, when he first became the starter he was on the Edge of Seventeen. Or Eighteen. I’m not quite sure because he is now 21, and seeing as I am now drunk, I really don’t want to go through the research and what not. I promise that isn’t really a trend. Ok. It probably is. I don’t believe in lying really. We’ll get into that at a later date.

Troy, on the other hand, showed shades of Shane Falco. You know the Ohio State quarterback who chokes in the Bowl game. Though, truthfully, I think that Footsteps was a lot like Troy. Even though his background wasn’t the same. They weren’t both All-American Quarterbacks at Ohio State. They both didn’t choke in Bowl games where they suffered devastating losses.

Oh, wait. They did. Look, I love Troy Smith a lot more than I should. But, the truth is that Troy didn’t play a great game. He didn’t know when to throw the ball away. He didn’t seem to understand where his check off receiver was. Honestly, he probably just never had to worry about it before. I don’t know. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I’m upset.

(00:13:25) SouljaRoyTellEm: I can only imagine what you’re going through now
(00:13:36) SouljaRoyTellEm: my dog died over the summer, im going with something like that
(00:13:41) ditriech: yeah. Im like drinking
(00:14:10) SouljaRoyTellEm: || i
(00:14:15) SouljaRoyTellEm: that’s the shocker
(00:14:17) SouljaRoyTellEm: cuz you’re drinking

I don’t know. I didn’t see Eli coming in this one. Like at all. Well, I mean besides those warning factors that I indicated earlier.

(23:16:47) YoungerSpyKnots: Soft tackles, linebackers not covering under routes.
(23:16:51) YoungerSpyKnots: That’s been the game.
(23:17:06) YoungerSpyKnots: Stupid mistakes, penalties, Troy not knowing how to deal with a pass rush all of a sudden.
(23:17:13) ditriech: yup. this is the first game when the linebackers youth has been exploited

Ok, ok, that worried me too. It was just poorly played game by the Buckeyes. The first one that I’ve seen in a while. And now, I’m in depression. Like deep depression

“I might put on Requiem for a Dream because it might cheer me up”
Bama

Yeah. I feel like that too. I’ve got a fever, and the only thing that can save me isn’t actually More Cowbell [I actually didn’t find that skit to be funny at all]. Its Script Ohio.
[you see that? Its called tying up loose ends.]

[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/rPNnIFH6_RU" width="350" height="269" wmode="transparent" /]

Ok, now that I’ve done that I can declare Boise State the 2006 National Champions. They deserve it. And, now, will bring about the end of college football. Also known as a playoff.

We should make T-Shirts for them or something. At least National Champion Onion Rings.

….

Ok. I’m done.

Hopefully.