Big bag of little donuts.

I understand it would be horrible to be these parents. But seriously. What the fuck.

After taking nearly two dozen No-Doz …

If a ban of the product in Connecticut cannot be enacted, then Lendino and the Stone family would like No-Doz to come with a more accurate warning.

Either the poor kid was actually trying to kill himself, or this was a Darwin Award. No company owes you anything for not pointing out that taking a 1200% dose of their pills will fuck you up. That’s like drinking 2 large pots of black coffee, distilled into a shot glass, in one gulp.

I remember once drinking a pot and a half of strong black coffee over the course of an hour and a half. Hands started shaking, vision got blurry, perception of time got all messed up … I thought “goddamn. That was pretty stupid.” I did not think to consider that someone from the Gold Coast Company should have kicked in the door to stop me.

And I wonder how many people wake up with a murderous hangover and think “Wow! Tequila is really bad for you if you drink a liter of it! WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME?????”

Again, all sympathy to the family … but cut that shit out. We’re over regulated and overprotected as it is.

DJ T. Jefferson! Holla!

Well what if [a man] neglect the care of his health or his estate, which would more nearly relate to the state. Will the magistrate make a law that he not be poor or sick? Laws provide against injury from others; but not from ourselves. God himself will not save men against their wills.

And so it goes. Rest in Peace, ya big idiot.