The reason for, well most of the reason for, this premature jump is that the next paragraph (probably) will contain too much information for the normal confessioner. Though, honestly, the normal confessioner will just tell me that the next paragraph was too much information when I go to their place later today/when i call them around 2000 hrs. That’s not the point.
The reason why I was gone this week is because I gave up blogging for Michigan week. I’m completely serious. Last week, because it was both one and two, I gave up both masturbation and drinking. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Well, that didn’t already have a 98 Degrees song already related to it. Or something.
I know what your thinking: a) [ditriech] (because there are people who don’t naturally think of me as ditriech) you have some serious issues, b) Why would you give something up for a football game and c) Where are we going to find rubber pants our size?
To answer your last question first, if you don’t know, please God don’t Google it. Please. Take my word for it. You’ll be freaked out worse than that one CSI episode. You’ll know the one I’m talking about.
Anyhoo, I do have serious issues. Ones that will probably be discussed in this blog at a later date. Probably. But that’s not the point. The reason why I give things up for Michigan Week, is because Ohio State Football is like a religious experience for me. Okay. Its not like it is a religious experience for me. It is a religious experience for me. It is the only thing, besides my sister (and now, mostly, my godson), that I absolutely love and would do anything for. And, actually, a large portion of my mood actually revolves around State football (See: the reason why I didn’t IM anyone this week, really).
In actuality, I have no idea why I’m sharing this. I should be talking about how worried I am about Mike Hart. How distraught the Loss (because if we win from here on out it deserves a capital letter) actually made me. Like how I honestly refused to sell anything the rest of that day. Or night as it were. How I FUCKING PICKED ILLINOIS AS THE FUCKING TRAP GAME LIKE 5 %($%($(@ WEEKS AGO!!! (sd: I actually picked 5 as a random number, but I think that it was actually 5 weeks ago. I am scared of my own brain sometimes) How the refs at the Illinois/State game were already under suspicion with the shoddy officiating at the Purdue/Penn State game. (sd 2: this, in case you were counting at home is the second fucking time this has happened to me this year (HT: Greeny & IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS… caught.)
But no. I won’t talk about that. Not at all. You know why? Because it is Michigan
week day. And it is a Norliday. And that’s all that really matters.
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