Attention Everyone


Records Set By Buffalo Last Year
Most consecutive wins to begin season (NHL, tied)
Most consecutive wins in season (Franchise)
Greatest Number of overall points (Franchise, tied)
First President’s Trophy in 25 Years

Records Set By Buffalo This Year (so far)
Most consecutive losses (Franchise)
Most consecutive road losses (Franchise)
Greatest number of home losses total (Franchise)
Fewest overall points since Lockout

Darcy Regier needs to be chased through the streets by dogs, have last year’s trade deadline branded on the inside of his colon, and be thrown over the Falls, trailing anal pus all the way down.

But you know what? We beat Dallas.

5 thoughts on “Attention Everyone”

  1. Good to know that one of us isn’t afraid to put up old photos of themselves.

    Though I can’t lie, as I have an affinity for the Dallas Stars, as they used the be the Minnesota North Stars, who were featured in Ducks 1.

    Also, the North Stars merged with the Cleveland Barons. So there you go.

    In conclusion, the Sabres can die in a fire.

  2. 1) You have it all backwards, for this is a reason to hate them MORE.

    The city of Dallas, TX stole away a HOCKEY team from Minneapolis, MN.

    That’s like taking a man away from his hot, loving wife and forcing him to marry a panda.

    2) If you hadn’t noticed, we ARE.

    Now where did I put that boomstick?

    *throws empty bottles around*

  3. you have any idea how many women out there would love to have a big, soft, cuddly husband who never wanted to have sex?

  4. I mean, if there are any out there, I’m not really a fan of sex.


    And yes, Bizzo, I could hate them, but then you wouldn’t be as upset. And it amuses me when you’re upset. With your capslock and your “*”‘s.

    But the Stars are the Barons. And the Barons are kind of a big deal in the 216. Sorta like the Whale. Only less popular. Because, you know, Clevelanders have lives. And we don’t obsess over sports teams that are never coming back. Shitty ones, yes, teams that don’t exist, no.

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