Rites of what now


Let’s Review:

13 – First Communion. Afterward, was still sober, still sinful, and still in Middle School.

16 – Can legally drive. Before this, had done nothing bad with a car, and was not allowed license. After, ran over a gas station pump, was caught doing 95 in a 55, almost flew off an interstate sideways, and am allowed to keep license and drive more.  

18 - First Election, first guaranty of legal intercourse. Party voted for lost. Remained good Catholic for disgusting, long time.

Have yet to serve jury duty.

21 – Could legally drink. Had drank since age 14 with no legal penalties. Actual difference: less mooching, more being mooched off of.

25 – Can legally rent a car. Rented first car, almost died above Scranton, PA, was forced by company to pay hundreds in late fees. Because I almost died in their car. Will never do this again.

Kids, you think it’s all bullshit, and you’re right. Do whatever you want.

One thought on “Rites of what now”

  1. you know you can still rent a car even if you’re under 25. you just have to pay an extra fee.

    and yes, it’s a shitty, shitty experience from front to back. unless you’re expensing the whole thing, in which case you damn well better get that luxury car with leather and GPS unit

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