OH MY GOD THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING

it’s an actual book. gonna be published and everything. i’m preordering one right now.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

and really the question should be, “why the hell didn’t we think of that?”

Mark Twain’s “huckleberry finn and jim, the friendly negro zombie” -Huck and Jim travel down the mississippi, spreading the undead plague on their way to do battle with the vampire king in New Orleans!

George Eliot’s “middlemarch undead” – the idealistic young doctor Tertius Lydgate tries to make a name for himself curing the plague that has decimated his adopted town, but ends up succuming both to the disease and the societal norms he had tried to transcend

Titus Livius’s “A History of the Roman Zombie” – legions of zombies – Roman legions of zombies! And you thought human orgies were insane!

James Joyce’s “Zombie Ulysses” – You thought Joyce’s stream of consciousness was hard to understand before – imagine it from the point of view of a young zombie on the hunt for brains – and truth

Henry David Thoreau’s “Walden, undead” – existential zombies. ’nuff said.

Emily Bronte’s “A Plague at Wothering Heights” – really this is the only reason to read anything associated with either Bronte sister, ever.

F. Scott Fitzgerald’s “The Great Zombie” – the life, love, and downfall of a young, wealthy zombie with a mysterious past

Ken Kesey’s “One Flew over the zombie’s nest” – trying to escape the horde, a charismatic zombie admits himself to a mental hospital, where he finds that he cannot escape authority no matter where he goes. Bonus: includes deaf-mute giant indian zombie named “chief”

George Orwell’s “Zombie Farm” – a group of idealistic zombies try to throw off the shakles of the horde, only to recreate it in its place.

rejected titles:

John Steinbeck’s “Of Mice and Zombies”
John Steinbeck’s “The Grapes of Zombies”
Bram Stoker’s “Zombie”
Mary Shelley’s “Zombie”
Machiavelli’s “The Zombie”
Robert Louis Stevenson’s “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Zombie”
Shakespeare’s “The Taming of the Zombie”
Truman Capote’s “Breakfast at the Zombie’s”
F. Scott Fitzgerald’s “The Beautiful and the Dead”
George Orwell’s “Zombie Farm”
William Golding’s “Lord of the Zombies”
H. G. Wells “The Invisible Zombie”
Charles Dickens “A Tale of Two Zombies”
Arthur Miller’s “Death of a zombie”

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