Ask Advice Dog [2nd time’s the charm!]

A few of the hardcore readers remember the first in this "Ask Advice Dog" series. Sadly, due to unmentionable issues, it was not able to return at that time. But! in this new era of cofabg, we can do AAD! Every week even! But, we do need to see what Advice Dog thinks. So what say you Advice Dog?

YEEAAAAHHH!

Well alright yeah. Lets do this

 

 

Dear Advice Dog

I think im going crazy. I can’t sleep at night. Like at all. I mean, I cut off the lights, lie in bed, and nothing happens. Nothing. I finally get some rest about day break, but about 2 hours later I have to go in to a job I hate. Then while I’m there, I’m inundated with the stupid minutia of work. Plus, I’m groggy and unable to focus completely on my Action/Item reports. What should I do?

Worn out in Wilmington

Chew Valerian Root

Dear Mr. Advice Dog Sir,

I live in the city. My cousins all live far out from me where there are parks, and lawns and things like that. We play tag and freeze tag and hide and go seek and stuff. Next week is my 8th birthday, and they are all coming to visit. THe problem is that we dont have a yard. All we have is this dirt patch down the street. Plus its supposed to rain next week! What should we do?

thank you
billy

Go play in the Mud

Advice Dog

Yo man, i really need your help. I got this problem. I have to do a school project with, like, pictures and stuff. but my family doesnt have photoshop or fireworks or any of that crap. mostly because my old man is a penny pinching bastard. he wont even let me buy school lunches, ive been brown bagging it for like ever now. but its not even a brown bag, its one of those plastic grocery bags my mother saves and shit.

but that’s not the problem the problem is the pictures. What should i do man? I’m stuck without them, and good grades is the only way i can get to college and away from my old man.

Projectless in Painsville Perry

use ms paint

Advice Dog,

Remember me? I’m the DIAF guy from your first column. Anyway, I’ve run into a couple of problems. My girlfriend left me. My family disowned me. I cant go back to meeting anymore since..the incident (those pricks say they accept you no matter what. But then one little thing…)

Anyhow, you’re the only guy that was straight with me. I keep burning myself. It hurts. But I need everyone to pay. What should I do?

Fire Likes All Men Equally

eat asbestos, gain fire resistance

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