Governor Has Hairy Thighs, Forefits Race

 

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I stand a little corrected. The soundbite pagents between people who don’t have to say anything and won’t be President have done some good. 

In August of this year, Rick Perry was going to be the perfect canned Republican. Cocky, intimidating, Conservative, a distant cousin to George Clooney.

Then he was forced to speak in public. Again. And again. And again. For some reason, Republican insiders and media elites were not able to take whatever drugs got them through George W. and Sarah P. with a straight face.

Then again, George and Sarah could approach a podium and read a canned answer with flair. They could read a prompter and enunciate. They could read. 
 


 

Soooo, that’s over. Which is good.

Meanwhile, the Cain and Gingrich candidicies drag on painfully until some humans finally touch a ballot and we can all throw out the year’s worth of polling data that ran serious numerical analysis on people’s responses to "if you had to express a preference of no consequence you could later reverse, who do you like more, Eyebrow or Glasses?".

After all, both Gingrich and Cain can wear a tie and look forward and pronounce a three syllable word without pissing in their shoes. Thus, for two more months, we must pretend they can be President. 

Is there some room in Hell where they write these rules?